Bigger and Bigger

So, it has been quite awhile since I posted a new blog. No, I did not fall off the face of the earth, and yes, I am still pregnant!

My work computer blocks my access to blogs (all blogs) randomly and for different periods of time. Why blogs are considered "personal data storage" is beyond me. 

Anyway, I am 38 weeks and 2 days today! Eek!!! Although mentally and physically, I am totally ready to have this baby; our home is totally NOT ready! The bathroom project, since they screwed it up so bad, took over a month longer than it was supposed to. It should have been done mid-June...they finished last week!

Needless to say, we are still working on organizing it and putting things back where they belong. So, since the basement isn't fully together, neither is Silas' new room. Which is where we stored everything that was in the basement while the work was taking place. Since Silas' room isn't even ready to get ready, he is still in the nursery... which means the baby is homeless (or will be once he or she is here). But, we have a bassinet, so the baby will just sleep in our room for the first couple of weeks. My only goal now is to have Silas' new room ready to get ready for him before the baby comes. That is, have the basement in order and everything that should be stored in the basement there... so that the back bedroom is back to its "pre-construction" state. Then it will be a "simple" matter to get it ready for Silas. 

I was hoping for a somewhat relaxing maternity leave this time around; time at the beach, time in VT... yeah... that is obviously NOT going to happen. Last time, I spent my 12 weeks painting, packing, moving into our new house, and unpacking and organizing that new house. This time won't be much different except that it won't be a new house... just the current one. 

Anyway, I have kept up with exercise even if I haven't kept up with blogging about it. Still hitting the treadmill (no way am I going out in this heat and humidity to run outside) about 3x a week, and strength training 2x a week. Feeling good physically, if not entirely comfortable. And, if I do say so myself, I have remained rather small. I am pretty much all baby, as one stranger in the lunch place remarked: "It looks like someone just placed a pregnant belly on you! Your tiny!" and as a co-worker proclaimed only yesterday, "Wow! You're due in two weeks?! But you're so small! My sister in law just had a baby and she was HUGE!"

So, why oh why do some people feel the following statement isn't offensive, "Girl, you are getting bigger and bigger each day! That belly is growing so big!" OK, biatch. First of all, I have gained all of 1/2 lb in the last 3 weeks. Did it not occur to you that yesterday, I was wearing a bit tighter of a top and today I am wearing a flowy sundress... so I just appear to be bigger. And not only that, have some damn tact! Nobody, pregnant or not, wants to hear the words, "Wow, you are so big! You're getting bigger and bigger!" Seriously. I don't care if I am getting bigger because I have another human being growing in me. It is still rude. Especially since I have been exercising and eating healthy all in an effort to ONLY gain weight the baby NEEDS. I have gained 30 lbs. Saying it like that, I don't mind it so much. Really I don't. Even though I worked and slaved for months to LOSE 30 lbs prior to getting pregnant, it actually doesn't bother me hearing the words, 30 lbs. I know in order for this baby to be healthy, I need to gain weight. Plus, all my maternity clothes are a size 8 or 6...and they are a bit big on me. But, generalizing it by saying I am getting big? No, I am NOT getting big. I am growing a human being. There is a difference. 

Didn't your mom ever teach you, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?"

oof!

Ouch! 

I think it is safe for me to say I have definitely hurt my ankle. I don't think it is serious, I am not a hypochondriac, but I took the risk of hitting the gym last night and now today, it continues to hurt. I have it wrapped, but even just walking was slightly painful. 

Last nights workout was both great and terrible. My Cardio session was awful. This was due to several factors. 
1. My ankle hurt--so running on the treadmill was a bit painful and I had to stop a couple of times to walk, but then walking causes me to feel crampy and tight in my abdomen...
2. It has been a while--In the last 3 weeks, I have managed to workout 3 times. Treadmill twice and running outside once. While normally that wouldn't have such a large effect on my overall fitness level, being pregnant, it really did. Our bodies change so quickly when we are pregnant, one week running can be easy and no problem, the next, it could be difficult. 
3. My Mind. My brain was totally somewhere else. Usually, when I run or hit the treadmill, I manage a good mindfulness of my being and my surroundings. Taking all of it and none of it in at once. Last night, I could NOT get that feeling. My mind was wandering all over the place. Mostly, to my basement which while it is coming along nicely, the workers are trying to rip me off at every turn and have done some things in an incredibly sloppy manner. 

The great part of my workout came after my crappy cardio session when I had my training with Alex. She really pumped it up and now that we are closer to the end, is working on the larger muscle groups and the core to really prepare my body for the end of pregnancy (i.e. carrying around an extra 25 lbs all in one concentrated area) and of course, labor and delivery. She definitely recognized I wasn't in top form though, which is nice because it takes the pressure off. 

Working out with Alex, I was finally able to get my mind out of my basement and into what I was doing because I really try to concentrate on each exercise to make sure I am doing it properly. Although Alex is there in our sessions to correct and guide me, I do these exercises more than just the once a week and she isn't there each time to make sure I am doing them right. So, it is really important to concentrate. 

That was definitely a good thing. Then, when I got home, I started inspecting the basement and noticed a ton of things they did the backwards, cheap and easy way. Granted, the basement and bathroom look about 1000x better than they did before. Don't get me wrong, and to be honest, most people probably wouldn't notice the things I did. No matter how much we fight it, we all become our mothers in some form some day--and inspecting and noticing the tiny things is definitely my mother coming out in me! Of course, I am so done with these guys and their thinking they are the only ones who know how something should be done, and quite frankly, their condescending attitude towards me because I am a woman (and yes... that is it. He speaks very differently to my husband), that I just want this done and I want them OUT of my house. 

Anyway... my body is in a bit of pain today, particularly in the core area thanks to the bridges and crunches I did last night (ouch!) and the standing pull ups that really worked out the backs of my thighs (ironically enough). 

But, in the end... I know this will all be worth it. My body is prepped and ready. Now I just need to start practicing my Calm Birth methods to get my mind in the game as well!

The Treadmill vs. The Great Outdoors

I love running. I never thought I would say that sentence, but there it is. Up until this past fall, I had never considered running as a form of exercise I would partake in. Of course, prior to last July, exercise was not really something I considered partaking in--so that just goes to show you how much and how quickly our perspectives can change.

What changed? Last fall, I discovered through some online friends of mine, the C25K Training Program. I started it a bit reluctantly, not sure if I would like it--but I was wrong. I loved it! I loved running!

When I decided to start the program, I didn't belong to a gym, so I ran in a cute little park down the street from our house. It isn't a big park, one loop is about or a little over 1 mile, but there are some nice hills and stuff to keep it interesting--and always lots of good people watching:)

I got pregnant in November (though I didn't know this until mid-December), and basically stopped exercising for awhile because I was too tired to open my eyes more or less go out and run. Now, it was the middle of winter, so I joined a gym once I started getting my 2nd Trimester "Second wind". I used the treadmill at the gym and started a Strength Training program with a personal trainer as well. It has been great. I feel good, have been able to keep my pregnancy weight gain at a healthy level, and have been getting stronger and if possible, I think leaner as well.

At first, the treadmill was quite a challenge. I had heard that a "0" incline is basically like running downhill, so I always try to set it around 1.5-2.0 incline. The biggest challenge was facing the boredom of not going anywhere! I had good tunes on my iPod, but seriously, I am running in place smack in front of a mirror. Do I just run and watch myself for the next half hour or so? Do I watch other people? That would be kind of creepy if they caught me. I got in the habit of staring blankly at whatever necklace I was wearing (I wear "small, minimalistic" jewelry and don't usually take it off very often, even for sleep, so yes, I would be at the gym with some jewelry on), until my eyes kind of got out of focus. Similar to looking at one of those "Magic Eye" posters at the Dentist Office where if you stare at it long enough, you actually see the picture. 

("Wow. It's a schooner." 

  "Ha ha ha ha. You dumb bastard. It's not a schooner... it's a Sailboat."

  "A schooner IS a sailboat stupid head!)

Eventually, I got over the boredom and awkwardness of running on a treadmill and was able to run for quite awhile once I hit my stride. As my pregnancy has progressed, I haven't really been able to push it much past a half hour or so. While running, I feel like I could go on forever, it is when I stop that I get light headed and dizzy and need a good 10-15 minutes to recover... so I have given myself a strict 35 min treadmill limit because that seems to be the magic number.

Now that the weather is finally and consistently fairly gorgeous, I have been longing for the days of running in the park. The sunshine, the fresh air, the variety of scenery and of course, the people watching. So, after months of hibernation on a treadmill, I ventured outside last night for a run in the park for the first time since November. I have taken several good power walks in the park with Silas in the stroller, but I hadn't gone out for a run yet.

Well--let me just tell you--having now experienced both kinds of running for a significant period of time and NOT simultaneously, anyone who says there isn't much of a difference between the two is a big fat liar!

I was struggling! At some points, I was going along fine, and others it was like I had come up with a special torture just for myself.

I am sure that being 32 weeks pregnant, and not having really run much in the last two weeks (on a treadmill or otherwise) were also factors in the fact that I couldn't even run two laps without having to stop twice to walk. Technically, I stopped 3 times, but one time I stopped because I had to go to the bathroom:) But, I think the main part was that my body was NOT used to all those ups and downs anymore. I had been conditioned to run at the same level, same pace and after months of it, my body was all... what are you trying to do?! What happened to those ideal running conditions with no variation. Seriously, you want me to run up a hill right now?!

I had naively thought that running at a 1.5-2.0 incline (ok, mostly a 1.5) would keep me conditioned to the running "field" I was used to for the first 2-3 months of being a runner. Yeah--it isn't true. I think a 3.0 or 3.5 incline would have been more appropriate.

Obviously, there are benefits to both types of running, and I don't think it is fair for any person to say one is better than the other. One is better than the other only for each individual person. Naturally, just running itself is a huge benefit to you cardiovascularly, muscularly, mentally even. But, I personally, love running outdoors. The scenery changes before you, even if you are running in circles in a small park, and there are lots of people to watch in a park, which is always a good time. Fresh air never hurt anyone and neither does a little sunlight. Plus, I think the fact that outdoors isn't all one level the whole time gives the added benefits of making the course interesting, and keeps your HR going up and down, which is ideal for max cal burn. But, for cold, windy, rainy, snowy, icy, ultra humid days or whatever--the treadmill is great because it allows you to still get in a good run... without all the uncomfortableness of crappy weather.

Of course, another factor in why my run last night was kind of stinky, my left ankle is hurting. It isn't visibly swollen or bruised or anything, so I don't think it is a major injury of any sort; but it has been hurting on and off since last Monday when I hit the gym for the first time in a week. I think I might have strained it on the treadmill at some point and then running outside last night just sort of made it worse. I have it all wrapped up in an Ace bandage now, I figure better safe than sorry. 

Anyway, people are always debating which is better, the treadmill or the outdoors. I think it is "6 to one, half dozen to the other" (a favorite saying of my dad). This has been my experience with both, and if I had to choose one over the other as the only option for me... the Great Outdoors would win every time. But then again, I am just a little dirty crunchy hippie girl who longs for the great outdoors living in the concrete jungle. 

Physical Training Slacking

These last few weeks have been super hectic. We are currently undergoing some construction in our house--we are getting our basement and the bathroom down there refinished and it has just been crazy. The work only started today, but I have had headaches about this for weeks. Dealing with moving everything out of the basement, figuring out what of all that crap we needed to keep and what we could trash/donate/sell--or what would be assessed once the project was complete and we were putting everything away. And of course, I was the one who had to make all those decisions--but then validate and explain those decision to my other half who sometimes saw the reasoning, and sometimes just rolled his eyes at me.

I am just glad the work has finally started, even if I have been on and off the phone all day with my husband (who is at home right now overseeing the work) and the contractor (who is not at our site, just his workers) working out the final kinks in the project. I have a killer headache and all I want to do when I get home is change and go for a run in the park to de-stress, but instead have to look at what was behind the ugly wall paneling, discuss our options with the contractor who will be at my house about half an hour after I get home from work, then make the decision with my husband who has not gotten any sleep and needs to leave for work by 10:30 this evening. I am thinking my need for a run is going to hit the back burner. 

It is annoying though because, exercise if the only thing I do for myself. The only "me" time I get in my life, and lately, I have really only been getting it about once a week when I have my training appointments with Alex, the trainer Goddess. 

It makes me feel like I am working half-ass backwards because running for 30 minutes and doing 30 minutes of strength training once a week, is NOT going to make a big difference. Yes, it is better than nothing, but it also could honestly be doing me more harm than good. 

A. It is a stress relief tease. Yes, I get relieved of my stress, and if I am lucky that lasts for about 30 minutes after I get home from the gym. On the less than lucky days, stress comes ramming right back the minute I walk through the back door. 

B. If I only run one day a week, each time I get back on the treadmill, it is honestly more difficult. Making my body work extra hard just to get used to it again, and then by the time I am used to it, I need to stop and go to my training session. 

I know I probably shouldn't complain. My life is hardly as bad as so many people's lives out there. But, you know what? Screw that. I don't have someone else' life. I have my life. I can't change that so I won't apologize because it is better than one person's but worse than another. It is the only real life I know, and right now--it sucks!

I only have about 8 weeks of pregnancy left and I really don't want to drop the ball on being physically ready for this now! Mentally, I am becoming more and more prepared. I started a new birthing book called, Calm Birth, regarding the benefits of meditation in pregnancy and childbirth. So far, I am a fan. I haven't finished it yet or gotten to any of the exercises to practice to prepare for childbirth, but I have a feeling they will be helpful. I'll write a review when I finish and let you know my overall assessment. 

So mentally, I am doing well with my training. Physically though--lately--I have been seriously dropping the ball and NEED that to change. With any luck, the basement project will be as quick as promised when they gave us the estimate and within 2 1/2 weeks not only will I have a new basement and bathroom, but also new doors (front and back) and a new kitchen window!!! (Our tax refunds hard at work...)

Alex, the trainer Goddess

Last night was my first night at the gym since Friday. This past weekend I went to my parents with Silas for Mother's Day so didn't really get any exercise in. Monday and Tuesday this week, hubby had to work late, so I didn't wake him up until 7:30 and by then, it isn't worth getting to the gym.

But, last night, I had my weekly training appointment with Alex, and I hate to miss those. Luckily, hubby didn't have to work late or anything so, even though he wasn't feeling well--why are all men such wimps when they have a little sniffle--he got up when I got home from work so I could head to the gym.

Even though I was rushing to get to the gym because I got home a little later than usual and had some things to take care of before heading out, I managed to get in an excellent run on the treadmill. Pushed it to 40 minutes, which I normally don't do on training night, but since I hadn't exercised since Friday night, I wanted to get a little extra in.

After that, training with Alex.
Alex is awesome. I love her. People can say that seeing a personal trainer is a waste of money all they want, but it is definitely not true. Especially since I am pregnant, seeing a trainer is even more important to make sure I am doing the right types of exercise and doing them properly! I have become so strong in the last couple of months since I started seeing Alex... I haven't felt this good in a long time--and to feel this way when I am 27 weeks pregnant... well... it just says a lot for the whole "personal trainer" profession. I rarely even have back pain--which I used to have chronically (even when I wasn't pregnant!)

Last night was an "upper body" fiesta apparently! But, good old Alex will NOT let me escape without plenty of lower body as well... she certainly likes to spice up my life!

• Hip bends with a full arm raise using one of the pully machine things (and yes, that is its technical name), on 10 lbs. 3 sets each side; 15 reps, 12 reps, 10 reps
• Side lunges with a 5 lb weight in opposite hand. 3 sets each side; 15 reps, 12 reps, 10 reps
• Squats with a front arm raise, 3 lb weights. 3 sets; 15 reps, 12 reps, 12 reps
• Sitting on a stability ball, arm pulls (using the pully machine things) set at 10 lbs, arms fully extended up, brought down and straight back...wowzer! 3 sets; 15 reps, 12 reps, 10 reps

I wish I actually knew what those machines are called, but they are great! You can do so many different exercises with one machine and the motion is so fluid, you almost don't feel like you are pulling weights at all.

Still, I am a bit sore today, but not too bad. It is a good thing anyway since I don't know when I will be able to make it to the gym again. Hubby has to work late again tonight, tomorrow night I have my class at the hospital--I have to take 2 Birthing Center classes (which are given back to back on one night, yay!) and the weekend, as always, is jam-packed with a million things to be done. I have NO idea how I am going to get it all in. Somehow, I always manage...

"Training" for Natural Childbirth

I said yesterday that I was in training. Some people get what I mean when I say that, others look at me like I just landed from Mars, or my head spun around and they are waiting for me to spew split-pea soup.

I personally, don't think it is that difficult to comprehend.

Would you, if you were not a regular long distance runner, go out and run a Marathon without training? What about an Iron Man or a Triathlon? Probably not. I mean, technically, you may be able to do the Marathon, but you would most likely end up with some serious injuries and take days if not weeks to recover.

Anyone who has been through childbirth, no matter what type of birth you had, knows that childbirth is a Marathon. Actually, for some people, childbirth ends up being more like a Marathon, Iron Man and Triathlon combined. Even if you wind up with a Cesarean Delivery, it still takes awhile to recover (not including the time it takes for your stitches to heal).

And yet, many women go out and give birth without being physically ready for the challenge. Yes, our bodies are MADE to birth babies. That is not what I am talking about. Our bodies will give and do all they are supposed to do, but it doesn't mean they are strong enough or you are strong enough to not be completely exhausted and knackered and worn out and beat after 24 hours of labor--and wait... then its time to push!!!

That was me when I gave birth to Silas. I was a good 30lbs overweight and hadn't step foot in a gym in about 10 or 15 years. I also didn't do anything else to keep myself physically fit. Subway steps were a daily torture for me. Guess what? Delivering Silas was incredibly difficult for me. My mother confessed to me recently that she was ready to bust into the delivery room and demand they give me a C-section! She had been with me basically since I got to the hospital, but she and my father were ushered out into the hall when it came time to push... and 2 1/2 hours later, my father was probably holding her back. I could actually hear her out in the hallway encouraging me when I was screaming that I couldn't do it anymore. Yes, I had an epidural. But I was exhausted! I had a 100.6 degree fever, I hadn't slept since the night BEFORE I went into labor (so in oh 36-48 hours)...

I actually started my journey to get fit and lose the extra 35 lbs last summer. I wasn't even thinking about getting pregnant. I was just sick of hating the way I looked and really did not want to go up yet another size in clothes. With the help of a fabulous free website called Spark People, I managed to lose 25 lbs and gain the knowledge and confidence that I could be healthy and fit.

So, here I am now, 27 weeks pregnant, and training for my own personal Iron Man.

My training schedule? Well, it has a lot of flexibility in it. My husband works nights and I have a 2 yr old at home who I want to spend time with... so sometimes, I need to rearrange things.

My goal every week is to:
1. Get in some Cardio every day. Even if it is just the 1 mile walk home from the subway.
2. Make it to my training appointment every week at the gym
3. Do my Strength Training exercises at least one other time each week
4. Try to run 3 Miles at least twice a week

Recently I have been trying to extend my runs, but like I said, my time is limited. I consider myself lucky if I manage to make it to the gym more than twice a week... I try to be grateful for what time I get in.

But, I feel stronger, and more able. My trainer has stepped up our workouts and I am feeling it in my muscles again. I find I am able to run much longer than 30 minutes on the treadmill without even realizing I have done it.

I know that in 13 weeks or so... my body will be more than ready for natural childbirth. I just need to remember to work on getting my mind and emotions ready as well!