Non-stress Test and Ultrasound

Now that I am officially past due, I went to the hospital today to take a non-stress test and have an ultrasound. 

I thought last night perhaps I was in labor, but it turned out to not be true. I woke up at 2am (my normal wake up time this week), definitely NOT in labor, just needing to go to the bathroom. And naturally, struggled to get back to sleep... I am still not convinced I ever did. and if I did, it wasn't good sleep because I tossed and turned and woke up a lot between going to the bathroom and my alarm going off at 6:20.

Anyway, the baby wasn't being super cooperative in allowing us to hear his or her heartbeat. It took some maneuvering, but we finally found a position for the monitor and me that allowed us to hear the heartbeat clearly. 

Since I had just walked several blocks to get to the hospital, the baby was also basically napping, so not much movement. It worried the nurse until I explained that usually, after I exercise or exert effort, it takes the baby awhile to wake up. So, she came over and zapped my belly (hence the baby) to wake it up. After that, it was the normal party going on. 

All was well with the baby's Heartbeat and movement. 

Next, to the ultrasound to make sure the baby's current home was copacetic. The ultrasound tech took some measurements and pictures. She assured me baby's head was average size and that the baby was 7 lbs give or take a few ounces. That was very reassuring to me because I was worried about the baby's size. Not only am I now past due, but everyone keeps telling me the second baby is usually bigger than the first... and Silas was 8 lbs 4 oz. So, hearing that the baby was 7lbs made me feel MUCH better! That knowledge will give me a little confidence when it comes to delivery knowing he or she isn't super large. 

I'll tell ya though, I am really getting uncomfortable now. I don't know how women allow themselves to go more than a week past due date (because they don't want to induce). I don't want to induce, but I will be screaming for it if I make it to my 41 wk appointments! The baby is so low, I can't stand up without having to urinate, and is putting a ton of pressure on my ligaments in my groin, causing lots of sudden painful spasms in the groin area. Of course, each time I feel one and bend over in breath sucking pain, someone looks at me all hopeful like, "was that a contraction?"

Hopefully, I don't make it to my 41 week appointments and don't end up having to take the second non-stress test. The baby may not be stressed, but Mama certainly is. Daily headaches, lack of sleep, aches and pains, non-labor contractions... and other things in life right now, are all colliding to create one miserable woman.  Holding a little baby in my arms would certainly make a lot of that go away... at least for a little while.

Buddhism for Mothers: A Book Review

I took a break from reading books about Natural Childbirth, and decided to pick up a book a bit about parenting. 

OK, I stumbled upon this book randomly when I was on Amazon.com buying the Calm Birth CD to practice my Calm Birth meditation methods. 

Buddhism for Mothers: a calm approach to caring for yourself and your children by Sarah Napthali, is not just for Buddhists or those interested in Buddhism. 

I am not a Buddhist. I took a Hinduism course in college, and found it very interesting. I know I know, they are NOT the same. But, they are more similar than say Buddhism and Catholicism. I have read a bit about Buddhism too. It is an intriguing religion. 

But, I have been very stressed out lately. Part of it is pregnancy hormones making it all worse, there is absolutely no denying that. But, outside forces are also working against me. I am an Aries. OK. I am passionate and I wear that passion right up front. I cry when I am angry, and once let loose, strong emotion is very hard to pull in for me. It can take hours before I am fit for society again. 

Stress effects pregnancy. Right now, I am so stressed out, and then to make it worse, stressed that all my stress is going to make this baby born tied up in knots! 

So, I signed up for Upliv, this stress management program from Johnson and Johnson. Need to be a bit more active on that:) But, I thought this book sounded like it could maybe help as well. 

I was not wrong. 

Buddhism for Mothers is not really about how to practice Buddhism. It is more, how the practices of Buddhism can help YOU! As I was reading it, I found myself saying over and over again, "wow, that is me!" or "wow! that is my husband" or "our relationship". And thinking again and again, "huh, that totally makes sense, and it would really help me in such and such situation which crops up again and again."

There is plenty in there for the actual Buddhist as well, but for those of us just looking for a little emotional support, and maybe some tools for practicing mindfulness, or anger management, or stress management... this is a great book. 

In fact, I have asked my husband to read it. While it may be called Buddhism for Mothers and is definitely steered towards addressing moms, I think anyone who has children, or deals with children regularly (teachers, nannies, grandparents, aunts, uncles, whatever!) can benefit from it as well. 

Bottom line... pick it up. It is a highly interesting read that just might help you achieve a bit of calm in your hectic life! 

Calm Birth: A Book Review

As many of you know by now, if there is anyone out there who reads my blogs, I have been embarking on a mission to ready myself mentally and physically for natural childbirth. By "natural", I mean a no drugs, no medical intervention (unless necessary), vaginal birth. Eek!

Yeah yeah, plenty of women do it. That doesn't mean it is easy and anyone can do it!

I have been feeling very good lately about my decision to birth naturally though because of all the preparation I have been doing in the last several months. My workouts have been pushed to the side a bit lately, and I am not happy about that. But sometimes, life gets in the way! We are having our basement redone and by the time I get home, check out the days work, go over things with the worker, possibly go out and pick up things that need to be bought (paint, sink, vanity, medicine cabinet, etc.), there is no time for exercise. I went to the gym on Monday and hit the treadmill for the first time in over a week. It felt great... now my calves are killing me and I am walking around with permanent Charley horses. Sigh. The basement will be done by the end of the week and then life can resume its normal abnormalness. 

Luckily, nothing really gets in the way of reading since, I do that on my commute to and from work. So, even though I haven't been able to prepare much physically lately, I have still been able to continue my mental preparations. 

The most recent book I read is Calm Birth: New Method for Conscious Childbirth by Robert Newman.  

This book is hands down, one of the best I have read concerning a method for natural childbirth. As you know, I read and loved Your Best Birth, but that book was more about information than a method. 

I don't really think there is any best method out there, or one that is complete in and of itself and perfect for me. That is why I have read so many books. Calm Birth also is not perfect, but I have to say, it sounds pretty darn close to it.

I was a little leery of reading it to be honest. I have never been one to meditate. I love yoga, but for the exercise, not the spiritual aspects. In fact, if a yoga class or video gets into the chanting spiritual stuff, I stop going. From the title and description, I thought perhaps this book would be like a chanting, chakra based, touchy feely method of natural childbirth. And that is in there, but there is also technical and medical information about the benefits of meditation. Information on studies conducted by highly respected medical schools and institutes about meditation as a means of healing. In fact, there were pages and paragraphs that were so technical, I had to read them 2 or 3 times just to think I understood what they were talking about. 

But, it all made sense. Each bit of it. While the author did admit that he had heard of women who had given birth consciously, without drugs and painlessly, he did not say or even imply that his methods would provide a painless childbirth. What he did say, was that they would provide one with the tools to maintain the strength they needed to get past their fear of the pain, in order to embrace any pain as a tool to bringing your child into the world. And looked at that way, the pain doesn't seem so impossible to bear.  I like that they didn't make any promises, but really gave it to you straight.

The author included interviews with people who had successfully employed the Calm Birth techniques in childbirth. These interviews were great because they were from people who had practiced the methods at varying degrees. Some people started the methods only weeks before giving birth. Others were busy people, and admitted to only practicing a couple of times a week for a few months. Others, were gung ho and practiced several times a day every day. But in each case, they also told the reader how effective the methods were for them, what they were feeling, obstacles they faced, etc. This was more than just the author of a book saying, "try this and it will work."


One downfall is that the methods as they are provided in the book, are transcripts taken from a CD (Calm Birth:Empowering Preparation for Childbirth) which has to be purchased separately. You can read the transcripts and get an idea of how to practice the different meditation methods, but it is difficult to meditate when you need to glance down at a book to read the next step. Which means, you need to spend another $15-20 for the practice CD--if you really want to actually practice the methods. 


I will say this though, I have also read HypnoBirthing and Birthing from Within (reviews will be given later on these), and both also have CD's or classes which can be taken (the classes are incredibly expensive); but I bought the Calm Birth CD. It hasn't come in yet, I am eagerly awaiting it. I am excited to really try and learn these methods of meditation--which the author says can be used for things in life other than just pregnancy and childbirth. I have been very stressed out lately and by all resources, mediation is supposed to help with stress. So, it will be interesting for me to attempt to employ these methods in life and pregnancy... and hopefully childbirth as well. 


In the meantime, if you have been thinking about buying and reading Calm Birth, but have been leery because you are afraid it is too "mushy, touchy feely

How to Say 'No'

I don't get many comments on my blogs... but a did get a couple on my blog about taking back control of my life. 

Aside from saying, no, I also signed up for Upliv. It is a medication free program from Johnson & Johnson to help reduce stress in women. You have to subscribe and it is a monthly fee, but you can cancel at any time. I kind of figured even if money is one of the things causing a ton of stress in my life, $40/month wasn't so bad if it really worked and would help reduce my stress level. 

Anyway, I just signed up, so I checked out my first session today and the article was so closely related to my blog last week about saying no, I had to post it here for other to read. 

So, even though I managed to say No to several things last week... it wasn't easy and I actually needed other people's help in doing so and still felt guilty over doing it. I was happy to read this article which really outlined the difference between saying no for your own mental health, even if it inconveniences the requester, and being a jerk about it:)

So, if you feel like you need to start saying "No" more often, but are unsure about the first steps to take, here is a nice little article that kind of lets you know it is OK to do so... and some effective ways of saying "No" without ruining a friendship or business relationship. 

Assertiveness and Interpersonal Boundaries in Stress Reduction

Taking Back Control of My Life

This post doesn't really have much to do with natural childbirth, but any Moms out there who may read this, you will probably say, "I know just how you feel." I mean, we do it all don't we moms. Whether you are a SAHM or a working Mom, it doesn't matter. Being a SAHM doesn't mean you have hours and hours at your disposal to do whatever. I am a working mom, but I know plenty of SAHM whose lives are almost as hectic as mine. I will NEVER say a bad word about a SAHM mom... if I do, it is only because I am wicked jealous that I can't stay home:)

As usual... I digress. 

Life has been completely out of my control lately. Aside from the obvious of my body going crazy because I am 30 weeks pregnant, I feel like I have been spinning out of orbit. Kind of like the bad guys in that one Superman movie, when Superman put them in the weird crystal things and spun them off into the universe. I feel like that is me. I have been catapulting through the universe with no control over my destination and unable to grab onto anything to stabilize myself. 

The contractors have been working on my basement for all of 3 days, and already we have had about 3-4 issues/surprises pop up DAILY and have had to tack on an extra 4 Grand to the project total. Yup... that's right!!! Yesterday, I lost it. Totally and completely. I broke into tears and ran out of my basement. Now, something you need to understand about me; I cry when I am sad, I cry when I watch a sad movie, I cry to certain songs, and I especially cry when I am mad or upset or have lost control of a situation. So, I wasn't sad or upset. I was pissed off. I have been, from Day 1, very clear about what I wanted with my contractor. He has decided it would work better another way (i.e. be cheaper for him without having to charge me less) and told his workers to do it his way without waiting for my approval on that. I don't think I am being difficult in wanting a construction project happening in my house to turn out to my satisfaction as opposed to my contractors. After all, I am the one who will be living there. 

But yesterday, after my little breakdown, the guy who was actually doing the work said, "You tell me what you want, and we'll work with it." He listened to what I wanted, then watched as I demonstrated and tried to get him to visualize it, then repeated it back and re-showed me. I said, "Yes. that is it." He said, "OK, no problem. I'll fix it tomorrow. In the future, tell ME what you want, not *Joe*, because I am the one doing the work." Then he hugged me and said, "I have a wife and 2 children, I understand."

After that, I was on a roll. I called my mom and told her I wasn't coming down on Saturday for my Uncle's Surprise 60th B-Day party. The man is like a saint and does so much for us, but we have paint to pick out, a sink to find, shower doors and a million other tiny things that need to be bought for this project. The workers will be here all day Saturday and we have a 1st bday party for our friends' son on Sunday which we committed ourselves to before we knew about my uncle's party. She said, "OK. I understand and I know your uncle will too." 

Then I talked to my sister, told her we wouldn't be coming down for her son & daughters combined bday party so we wouldn't be tacking Silas' bday party onto it as well. We just wouldn't do a family (and understand when I say "family" I means aunts, uncles and cousins... of which I have over 20) celebration since, God forbid the family drove up to NYC for a party. We had too much going on and I couldn't deal with the Sunday evening traffic getting back to NYC from SJ. She said, "Hey, no worries. You guys have a lot going on now. I wish we could make it to Silas' party, but we already had the plans with Jon's family."


Turns out, saying "NO" to people, is a hell of a lot easier and liberating than I thought it would be. 


I was feeling so good, this morning I even told my husband his parents, sister and niece would have to stay in the hotel 2 nights when they come down for Silas' bday party instead of just the night before the party. My folks will stay over our place the night of the party, and then they'd leave in the am and his family could then come and stay with us. Now if only I could make sure they got a train home on Tuesday instead of Wednesday... Can't win 'em all I guess. 


Anyway, if you are a mom, or a mom-to-be and are feeling the stress of family, work, life... start saying "No" to people and things. You can't do it all, and you shouldn't have to. You are important too.  And don't think that saying no so you can stay home and relax or get in some exercise isn't a valid reason. Your mental and physical health are important not only for yourself, but your family too.

Physical Training Slacking

These last few weeks have been super hectic. We are currently undergoing some construction in our house--we are getting our basement and the bathroom down there refinished and it has just been crazy. The work only started today, but I have had headaches about this for weeks. Dealing with moving everything out of the basement, figuring out what of all that crap we needed to keep and what we could trash/donate/sell--or what would be assessed once the project was complete and we were putting everything away. And of course, I was the one who had to make all those decisions--but then validate and explain those decision to my other half who sometimes saw the reasoning, and sometimes just rolled his eyes at me.

I am just glad the work has finally started, even if I have been on and off the phone all day with my husband (who is at home right now overseeing the work) and the contractor (who is not at our site, just his workers) working out the final kinks in the project. I have a killer headache and all I want to do when I get home is change and go for a run in the park to de-stress, but instead have to look at what was behind the ugly wall paneling, discuss our options with the contractor who will be at my house about half an hour after I get home from work, then make the decision with my husband who has not gotten any sleep and needs to leave for work by 10:30 this evening. I am thinking my need for a run is going to hit the back burner. 

It is annoying though because, exercise if the only thing I do for myself. The only "me" time I get in my life, and lately, I have really only been getting it about once a week when I have my training appointments with Alex, the trainer Goddess. 

It makes me feel like I am working half-ass backwards because running for 30 minutes and doing 30 minutes of strength training once a week, is NOT going to make a big difference. Yes, it is better than nothing, but it also could honestly be doing me more harm than good. 

A. It is a stress relief tease. Yes, I get relieved of my stress, and if I am lucky that lasts for about 30 minutes after I get home from the gym. On the less than lucky days, stress comes ramming right back the minute I walk through the back door. 

B. If I only run one day a week, each time I get back on the treadmill, it is honestly more difficult. Making my body work extra hard just to get used to it again, and then by the time I am used to it, I need to stop and go to my training session. 

I know I probably shouldn't complain. My life is hardly as bad as so many people's lives out there. But, you know what? Screw that. I don't have someone else' life. I have my life. I can't change that so I won't apologize because it is better than one person's but worse than another. It is the only real life I know, and right now--it sucks!

I only have about 8 weeks of pregnancy left and I really don't want to drop the ball on being physically ready for this now! Mentally, I am becoming more and more prepared. I started a new birthing book called, Calm Birth, regarding the benefits of meditation in pregnancy and childbirth. So far, I am a fan. I haven't finished it yet or gotten to any of the exercises to practice to prepare for childbirth, but I have a feeling they will be helpful. I'll write a review when I finish and let you know my overall assessment. 

So mentally, I am doing well with my training. Physically though--lately--I have been seriously dropping the ball and NEED that to change. With any luck, the basement project will be as quick as promised when they gave us the estimate and within 2 1/2 weeks not only will I have a new basement and bathroom, but also new doors (front and back) and a new kitchen window!!! (Our tax refunds hard at work...)