Buddhism for Mothers: A Book Review

I took a break from reading books about Natural Childbirth, and decided to pick up a book a bit about parenting. 

OK, I stumbled upon this book randomly when I was on Amazon.com buying the Calm Birth CD to practice my Calm Birth meditation methods. 

Buddhism for Mothers: a calm approach to caring for yourself and your children by Sarah Napthali, is not just for Buddhists or those interested in Buddhism. 

I am not a Buddhist. I took a Hinduism course in college, and found it very interesting. I know I know, they are NOT the same. But, they are more similar than say Buddhism and Catholicism. I have read a bit about Buddhism too. It is an intriguing religion. 

But, I have been very stressed out lately. Part of it is pregnancy hormones making it all worse, there is absolutely no denying that. But, outside forces are also working against me. I am an Aries. OK. I am passionate and I wear that passion right up front. I cry when I am angry, and once let loose, strong emotion is very hard to pull in for me. It can take hours before I am fit for society again. 

Stress effects pregnancy. Right now, I am so stressed out, and then to make it worse, stressed that all my stress is going to make this baby born tied up in knots! 

So, I signed up for Upliv, this stress management program from Johnson and Johnson. Need to be a bit more active on that:) But, I thought this book sounded like it could maybe help as well. 

I was not wrong. 

Buddhism for Mothers is not really about how to practice Buddhism. It is more, how the practices of Buddhism can help YOU! As I was reading it, I found myself saying over and over again, "wow, that is me!" or "wow! that is my husband" or "our relationship". And thinking again and again, "huh, that totally makes sense, and it would really help me in such and such situation which crops up again and again."

There is plenty in there for the actual Buddhist as well, but for those of us just looking for a little emotional support, and maybe some tools for practicing mindfulness, or anger management, or stress management... this is a great book. 

In fact, I have asked my husband to read it. While it may be called Buddhism for Mothers and is definitely steered towards addressing moms, I think anyone who has children, or deals with children regularly (teachers, nannies, grandparents, aunts, uncles, whatever!) can benefit from it as well. 

Bottom line... pick it up. It is a highly interesting read that just might help you achieve a bit of calm in your hectic life! 

Calm Birth: A Book Review

As many of you know by now, if there is anyone out there who reads my blogs, I have been embarking on a mission to ready myself mentally and physically for natural childbirth. By "natural", I mean a no drugs, no medical intervention (unless necessary), vaginal birth. Eek!

Yeah yeah, plenty of women do it. That doesn't mean it is easy and anyone can do it!

I have been feeling very good lately about my decision to birth naturally though because of all the preparation I have been doing in the last several months. My workouts have been pushed to the side a bit lately, and I am not happy about that. But sometimes, life gets in the way! We are having our basement redone and by the time I get home, check out the days work, go over things with the worker, possibly go out and pick up things that need to be bought (paint, sink, vanity, medicine cabinet, etc.), there is no time for exercise. I went to the gym on Monday and hit the treadmill for the first time in over a week. It felt great... now my calves are killing me and I am walking around with permanent Charley horses. Sigh. The basement will be done by the end of the week and then life can resume its normal abnormalness. 

Luckily, nothing really gets in the way of reading since, I do that on my commute to and from work. So, even though I haven't been able to prepare much physically lately, I have still been able to continue my mental preparations. 

The most recent book I read is Calm Birth: New Method for Conscious Childbirth by Robert Newman.  

This book is hands down, one of the best I have read concerning a method for natural childbirth. As you know, I read and loved Your Best Birth, but that book was more about information than a method. 

I don't really think there is any best method out there, or one that is complete in and of itself and perfect for me. That is why I have read so many books. Calm Birth also is not perfect, but I have to say, it sounds pretty darn close to it.

I was a little leery of reading it to be honest. I have never been one to meditate. I love yoga, but for the exercise, not the spiritual aspects. In fact, if a yoga class or video gets into the chanting spiritual stuff, I stop going. From the title and description, I thought perhaps this book would be like a chanting, chakra based, touchy feely method of natural childbirth. And that is in there, but there is also technical and medical information about the benefits of meditation. Information on studies conducted by highly respected medical schools and institutes about meditation as a means of healing. In fact, there were pages and paragraphs that were so technical, I had to read them 2 or 3 times just to think I understood what they were talking about. 

But, it all made sense. Each bit of it. While the author did admit that he had heard of women who had given birth consciously, without drugs and painlessly, he did not say or even imply that his methods would provide a painless childbirth. What he did say, was that they would provide one with the tools to maintain the strength they needed to get past their fear of the pain, in order to embrace any pain as a tool to bringing your child into the world. And looked at that way, the pain doesn't seem so impossible to bear.  I like that they didn't make any promises, but really gave it to you straight.

The author included interviews with people who had successfully employed the Calm Birth techniques in childbirth. These interviews were great because they were from people who had practiced the methods at varying degrees. Some people started the methods only weeks before giving birth. Others were busy people, and admitted to only practicing a couple of times a week for a few months. Others, were gung ho and practiced several times a day every day. But in each case, they also told the reader how effective the methods were for them, what they were feeling, obstacles they faced, etc. This was more than just the author of a book saying, "try this and it will work."


One downfall is that the methods as they are provided in the book, are transcripts taken from a CD (Calm Birth:Empowering Preparation for Childbirth) which has to be purchased separately. You can read the transcripts and get an idea of how to practice the different meditation methods, but it is difficult to meditate when you need to glance down at a book to read the next step. Which means, you need to spend another $15-20 for the practice CD--if you really want to actually practice the methods. 


I will say this though, I have also read HypnoBirthing and Birthing from Within (reviews will be given later on these), and both also have CD's or classes which can be taken (the classes are incredibly expensive); but I bought the Calm Birth CD. It hasn't come in yet, I am eagerly awaiting it. I am excited to really try and learn these methods of meditation--which the author says can be used for things in life other than just pregnancy and childbirth. I have been very stressed out lately and by all resources, mediation is supposed to help with stress. So, it will be interesting for me to attempt to employ these methods in life and pregnancy... and hopefully childbirth as well. 


In the meantime, if you have been thinking about buying and reading Calm Birth, but have been leery because you are afraid it is too "mushy, touchy feely

Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way: A Book Review

If it were possible for two books to be complete polar opposites, that is what Your Best Birth and Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way would be. 

I just finished reading Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon. The best thing I can say about it, is the picture on the cover is cute. 

Let's just start with the format. Not only is printing a landscape orientated book more expensive, but reading it is more annoying. Especially if you are a mass transit commuter used to be stuffed in between two other people with no elbow room. Sure, this may not seem like an important reason not to read a book, and it isn't, but I just wanted to mention how annoying it was. 

My main problem with this book, it is severely out of date--as anyone who skims through it and looks at the pictures can tell you. It doesn't really matter that the pictures were obviously taken in the 70's, but some of the information is from then as well... and frankly, things have changed in the last 35 years!There is actually a section regarding the dangers of X-Rays for pregnant women. If anyone has been to get an X-Ray in the last 20 years, and the technician didn't ask you, "Are you, or is there a possibility that you may be, pregnant?" you should have turned around and walked out. 

There is an entire chapter bashing Lamaze. Now, I am not a childbirth method expert, so I don't know if Lamaze is any good, or better or worse than other methods, but why the mud slinging? 

Sexuality and Birth--that is all I am going to say about that. 

Now, this isn't really an important thing either, but one I felt needed to be mentioned. Why are the "best coaches" husbands? What if you aren't married, but your coach is your partner--same sex or otherwise. Just because you don't have a husband, doesn't mean you need to HIRE a coach! 

There is information on "prepping" as well. I'm sorry, but I know many people who have had babies, and the only ones who were prepped in any way had c-sections, so naturally they were swabbed with antiseptic to make sure any germs were not near the incision site. 

So, was there anything good about the book?
Yes, it did have some interesting information. 

I liked the "Emotional Roadmap of Labor." While the author had previously broken down the stages of labor, which you can read about in any book and will learn about in any class, there was an additional section which mapped our the different stages of labor based on what most women would be feeling in that stage. I found it a very interesting way to look at labor--from the point of view of the woman and not what her body was doing or "where she was."

Some of the breathing and relaxation exercises were good as well. Definitely something that can be added to my repertoire of skills to take with me into the delivery room. Although, the author was very rigid about their implementation, when and where and how. 

All in all, I found the book to be overly preachy about natural childbirth, completely out of date in much of its information and thought process, and yes, the out of date images of naked women in labor...not needed. I found myself trying to cover them in the subway from the nosy gaze of my neighbors. 

While there was some interesting information--most of what was useful could be found in any book on labor and delivery. If you still want to check it out, try the library and save yourself the $20 (see... landscape printing is more expensive so the list price is as well).  

Your Best Birth: a Book Review

So, now that I have dedicated myself to this path of a natural and intervention free birth, I have started reading books like a maniac. 

There is one book I was trying not to read. Naturally, it ended up being the best one I have read so far. But really, who would have though Rikki Lake could write a fabulous, motivational and educational book about childbirth. I mean really!!

When I was pregnant with Silas, I had heard in my "Enriched Lamaze" class (pause to laugh at the memory of what a joke that class was) at the hospital that Rikki Lake had made a movie about childbirth and it was a MUST see. Some of the women were talking about The Business of Being Born, and I just cynically rolled my eyes at them and said, "where do I sign up for an epidural? is it possible to get 2, you know, just in case?"


I still haven't seen it. But, after reading their book, Your Best Birth, am seriously considering doing the one thing I said I would never do, and watch a movie about childbirth. Of course, I also said I would never do a natural childbirth either, and here I am training and preparing for that as well. 


What else will I end up doing I said I never would? Hmm...


But, I digress. 


Your Best Birth is thus far, the best book I have read on natural childbirth. It starts out with a foreword (which I normally don't read but did this time), by the head of obstetrics at St.Luke's Roosevelt Hospital in NYC. Which, just so happens to be the very same hospital where I had Silas and where I will be giving birth, hopefully in the birthing center, again this time around.  Then it continued on with the authors, Rikki Lake (yeah, I still kind of laugh at that, but if Dolly Parton is an intelligent woman, a trashy talk show host can be as well, right?) and Abby Epstein share their birth stories. In detail. 


I think the fact that they are not doctors, they are not people who came up with the "next best" childbirth method. They are just two women, who had birth experiences that made them believe that all women need to be better informed regarding their choices in childbirth. Do they advocate more for a natural, intervention free birth. Yes, absolutely. Are they preachy about it? Nope, not at all!


They say that for some women, epidurals and c-sections are needed and wanted and that does not make them worse mothers than those who labor and birth naturally. They really do drive home the point that this is about knowledge. The better informed you are about your choices, the better your birth experience will be. Because lets face it, sometimes interventions are necessary, but if you are informed about your choices ahead of time, you can still maintain some control over what is happening to you. 

They give lists of great questions to ask your doctor, midwife, the teacher at your birth class, the hospital staff during your tour, etc. And, these are great questions--that made me think of even more on my own. And, the book also gave me the confidence to ask all of these questions.

Their sections of "Birth Goddesses", were so inspiring without being annoyingly inspirational. Huh? I just mean that these were real women, just telling their birth stories, not some inspirational or motivational poster with a picture of a humpback whale and some cheesy quote. You could feel their emotions as the stories were being told. It was just... real.


Plus, and I have to emphasize this, they keep it light. There were lines that made me laugh out loud. Not in the same way I did when I read "Belly Laughs" by Jenny McCarthy, but in a way that still solicited a few glances in my direction on the subway!


Now, scare tactics works both ways. Doctors and hospital try to scare us with fancy language we don't understand saying it will be better for baby and us if... and natural childbirth advocates scare you with statistics about how much more dangerous c-sections are than vaginal deliveries, etc. But, this book provides both. They give you the statistics and reasons for natural childbirth, while also giving you the very valid reasons why one might want or need an epidural or c-section.  It is fairly well balanced in that sense. 


Bottom line: If you are expecting, even if this isn't your first, read this book. If you know someone who is expecting, don't buy them "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy", but them this book. 


I read so many books about pregnancy when I was pregnant with Silas, and they all basically said the same thing in different words. And every single one of them glossed over the actual labor and delivery portion of the program, which, isn't that what pregnancy is all leading to and about?? This time around, I am making smarter decision and reading about labor and delivery instead of pregnancy. 


Now, I need to run and add The Business of Being Born to my Netflix queue.