I have a confession to make...

I have a confession to make. I am a wimp. Seriously. It is almost a joke in my family. I will do just about anything to avoid pain; like, not opening the mail by hand in case I get a paper cut.

When I found out I was pregnant with my son, Silas, I started interviewing doctors. My "lady doctor" at the time wasn't an OB, so I had to find someone new. When I finally found, through the recommendation of a friend, the wonderful and fabulous Dr. Wong, the first thing I said to her in our first meeting was: "I want as many epidurals as you can give me." As if there is an option for more than one.

Any woman who has ever been pregnant has faced a number of fears the minute she sees those two pink lines on the stick she just peed on. Are we really ready for this? Will I be a good mother? Are we financially stable enough to have kids? While I had any number of those regular fears, I had two looming over me that seriously weighed me down. PAIN and SURGERY! I did not want to deal with the pain of childbirth, and I really really did not want to end up with a C-section.

Well, needless to say since I was expecting something terrible and painful, that is exactly what I experienced. I didn't end up with a C-section, probably only because I begged my doctor constantly and repeatedly throughout our 9 months of together not to give me a C-section unless the life of the baby depended on it. So, even after pushing for 2 1/2 hours, I managed to finally birth my beautiful son through the most traditional route.

When I found out I was pregnant again right before Christmas, I naturally assumed I would be getting an epidural again. It wasn't even a conscious decision, just a given. This time around though, I wasn't overweight and out of shape, hopefully, labor and delivery would be easier.

I joined a gym and started seeing a personal trainer once a week. Several weeks into our training sessions, we were talking about my goals and what I really wanted to accomplish and I blurted out, "I want to be ready for a natural childbirth."

HUH? Where the hell did that come from? Seriously. I had not for one moment before that considered natural childbirth as an option for me. Pain. oh no. Why the hell would I do that to myself?!! But, there it was. The big fat pink elephant in the room that had landed squarely on my head.

Alex, my trainer, looked at me and said, "That is so amazing. And if you keep doing everything you're doing, you will be as strong enough for anything."

After that, I mentioned it to my husband. He choked on a bite of whatever it was he was eating and looked at me like I was an evil doppelganger.

"Um, ok. I think you can do it babe; if you think you can, we'll do this in the birthing center."

Here I am now, 27 weeks pregnant, and in training for natural childbirth in a birthing center.

What do I mean by "in training"? Stay tuned... that is what this experiment is all about.

"first you decide what you've gotta do then you go out and do it" Hour follows Hour; Ani DiFranco