Hello and welcome to my blog! This blog is as much of an experiment for me as attempting a natural childbirth is. I'll be posting reviews on books I read, experiences I have while attempting to green our lives a bit more, and sometimes, general nonsense I come up with! Please feel free to comment and share information!

I look forward to hopefully making it through this experience with my own interesting story about giving birth naturally!


My Review of Odor Remover

Originally submitted at Diapers.com

bumGenius Odor Remover


bumGenius odor remover quickly eliminates the source of odor-causing bacteria in cloth diapers. It is non-toxic, biodegradable and is completely free of chemicals, oils, detergents, perfumes and solvents. Use instead of deodorizing dis...

Ridiculous price, great product

By New to Cloth from NY,NY on 6/25/2010


4out of 5

Pros: Easy to Use, Efficient

Best Uses: Diapers and diaper pail

Describe Yourself: Meticulous Cleaner

I would give this diaper odor spray 5 stars if it weren't so expensive for something that gets used up very quickly. For people who still have smells, I think this is designed to be used on wet and dirty diapers... not as a way to clean the smell OUT of them. I spray this on my sons organic cotton diapers, and the wet covers, before putting them in my diaper laundry bag. It helps to cut down on the smell while they are waiting to be laundered and I know will help avoid bacteria growth. Diapers should ALWAYS be washed on hot cycle to kill the bacteria that create smell. if you have stinky diapers after washing, lay them out in the sun!
They need to have a less expensive refill for this because having to buy these tiny bottles and them trash them (recycle them) after a couple of weeks isn't exactly very environmentally friendly...and the price isn't wallet friendly. Otherwise, really works great!



Cloth wins...hands down.

Since I have found a cloth/hybrid diaper that I really like and that really works, I have been very happy with diapering my little man. Never even once reaching for the "easier" disposable or wishing I had one on hand.
I love my GroBaby diapers. They never frustrate or disappoint me at how awesome they are. I have even begun to really like using the cloth inserts. With a flushable liner, even changing poopy diapers is super easy and not gross or icky at all. 

The problem came in, when GroBaby changed to GroVia. The changes they made to the diapers, actually seem like they are going to be awesome. Tuck-in tabs for the velcro so it won't come undone in the wash, 1/2 higher rise for those of us with tall babies, and a waterproof back to the organic cotton soaker pads. AWESOME!!!

Of course, since I had just spent quite a bit of money buying GroBaby shells and soaker pads because they were on sale and GroVia wasn't, I probably won't be purchasing too many GroVia diapers anytime soon. We are on a tight budget and buying the GroBaby shells and soakers was already out of it... so... the newer more awesome diapers will have to wait *sigh*

No big deal. 

BUT... the biosoakers were not available for purchase at the same time as the other diapers were. The nanny and my husband used the biosoakers exclusively, while I used mostly cloth and the biosoakers when leaving the house or traveling. I only had 2 boxes of 50 GroBaby biosoakers and they were no longer available as everyone had sold out of them. eeekkk!!!

Needless to say, I ran out of GroBaby biosoakers before the GroVia biosoakers were available for sale. Which meant.... I had to go out and buy some disposable diapers. *Side note, GroVia biosoakers came in earlier than expected on Gro-via.com and so I am "patiently" awaiting my order to arrive sometime in the next few days*

I was too tired the night I realized there would be no diapers for the nanny the next day, so I sent Jacob out to CVS to pick up a pack of diapers. I didn't really care which brand as they were all equally bad for the environment and I didn't plan on using them on any permanent basis. He came home with one of the Huggies brand diapers--not the Pure & Natural ones we used before which weren't too bad I have to admit.

A couple of nights ago, I was talking to Jacob about cloth diapers and how I couldn't believe how easy they were and how much I liked them. He just said, "I like disposables." I didn't feel like getting into a discussion over which was better with him because I know he has made up his mind NOT to like the GroBaby diapers, whether the biosoakers or the cloth soaker pads... it wasn't an argument I was going to win, so it wasn't worth having.

The next night, I was putting Silas' diaper on before bed, and I noticed a rash up his back, near where the back of the diaper is, and in the creases of his legs, it was rubbed raw. I pointed it out to Jacob and said simply, "He got a rash from those Huggies diapers, and they rubbed his legs raw." Jacob looked at me, almost defeated and said, "Yeah, I noticed that too, but the rubbing could be from the swimmie diapers that were a little too small." In his voice, I heard the sound of defeat, the sound of giving in, the sound of, 'you were right, the other diapers are better but I am not going to admit it out loud, this is the best you'll get'.

I didn't want to gloat, so I didn't say anything like, "I told you so." I didn't say anything at all. I just smiled, and on the inside, was totally doing the Dance of Joy, Balki Bartokomous style.

Now, if I can just convince him of how awesome cloth diapers are... 

Baby steps... baby steps...


Buddhism for Mothers: A Book Review

I took a break from reading books about Natural Childbirth, and decided to pick up a book a bit about parenting. 

OK, I stumbled upon this book randomly when I was on Amazon.com buying the Calm Birth CD to practice my Calm Birth meditation methods. 

Buddhism for Mothers: a calm approach to caring for yourself and your children by Sarah Napthali, is not just for Buddhists or those interested in Buddhism. 

I am not a Buddhist. I took a Hinduism course in college, and found it very interesting. I know I know, they are NOT the same. But, they are more similar than say Buddhism and Catholicism. I have read a bit about Buddhism too. It is an intriguing religion. 

But, I have been very stressed out lately. Part of it is pregnancy hormones making it all worse, there is absolutely no denying that. But, outside forces are also working against me. I am an Aries. OK. I am passionate and I wear that passion right up front. I cry when I am angry, and once let loose, strong emotion is very hard to pull in for me. It can take hours before I am fit for society again. 

Stress effects pregnancy. Right now, I am so stressed out, and then to make it worse, stressed that all my stress is going to make this baby born tied up in knots! 

So, I signed up for Upliv, this stress management program from Johnson and Johnson. Need to be a bit more active on that:) But, I thought this book sounded like it could maybe help as well. 

I was not wrong. 

Buddhism for Mothers is not really about how to practice Buddhism. It is more, how the practices of Buddhism can help YOU! As I was reading it, I found myself saying over and over again, "wow, that is me!" or "wow! that is my husband" or "our relationship". And thinking again and again, "huh, that totally makes sense, and it would really help me in such and such situation which crops up again and again."

There is plenty in there for the actual Buddhist as well, but for those of us just looking for a little emotional support, and maybe some tools for practicing mindfulness, or anger management, or stress management... this is a great book. 

In fact, I have asked my husband to read it. While it may be called Buddhism for Mothers and is definitely steered towards addressing moms, I think anyone who has children, or deals with children regularly (teachers, nannies, grandparents, aunts, uncles, whatever!) can benefit from it as well. 

Bottom line... pick it up. It is a highly interesting read that just might help you achieve a bit of calm in your hectic life! 




I think it is safe for me to say I have definitely hurt my ankle. I don't think it is serious, I am not a hypochondriac, but I took the risk of hitting the gym last night and now today, it continues to hurt. I have it wrapped, but even just walking was slightly painful. 

Last nights workout was both great and terrible. My Cardio session was awful. This was due to several factors. 
1. My ankle hurt--so running on the treadmill was a bit painful and I had to stop a couple of times to walk, but then walking causes me to feel crampy and tight in my abdomen...
2. It has been a while--In the last 3 weeks, I have managed to workout 3 times. Treadmill twice and running outside once. While normally that wouldn't have such a large effect on my overall fitness level, being pregnant, it really did. Our bodies change so quickly when we are pregnant, one week running can be easy and no problem, the next, it could be difficult. 
3. My Mind. My brain was totally somewhere else. Usually, when I run or hit the treadmill, I manage a good mindfulness of my being and my surroundings. Taking all of it and none of it in at once. Last night, I could NOT get that feeling. My mind was wandering all over the place. Mostly, to my basement which while it is coming along nicely, the workers are trying to rip me off at every turn and have done some things in an incredibly sloppy manner. 

The great part of my workout came after my crappy cardio session when I had my training with Alex. She really pumped it up and now that we are closer to the end, is working on the larger muscle groups and the core to really prepare my body for the end of pregnancy (i.e. carrying around an extra 25 lbs all in one concentrated area) and of course, labor and delivery. She definitely recognized I wasn't in top form though, which is nice because it takes the pressure off. 

Working out with Alex, I was finally able to get my mind out of my basement and into what I was doing because I really try to concentrate on each exercise to make sure I am doing it properly. Although Alex is there in our sessions to correct and guide me, I do these exercises more than just the once a week and she isn't there each time to make sure I am doing them right. So, it is really important to concentrate. 

That was definitely a good thing. Then, when I got home, I started inspecting the basement and noticed a ton of things they did the backwards, cheap and easy way. Granted, the basement and bathroom look about 1000x better than they did before. Don't get me wrong, and to be honest, most people probably wouldn't notice the things I did. No matter how much we fight it, we all become our mothers in some form some day--and inspecting and noticing the tiny things is definitely my mother coming out in me! Of course, I am so done with these guys and their thinking they are the only ones who know how something should be done, and quite frankly, their condescending attitude towards me because I am a woman (and yes... that is it. He speaks very differently to my husband), that I just want this done and I want them OUT of my house. 

Anyway... my body is in a bit of pain today, particularly in the core area thanks to the bridges and crunches I did last night (ouch!) and the standing pull ups that really worked out the backs of my thighs (ironically enough). 

But, in the end... I know this will all be worth it. My body is prepped and ready. Now I just need to start practicing my Calm Birth methods to get my mind in the game as well!


The Treadmill vs. The Great Outdoors

I love running. I never thought I would say that sentence, but there it is. Up until this past fall, I had never considered running as a form of exercise I would partake in. Of course, prior to last July, exercise was not really something I considered partaking in--so that just goes to show you how much and how quickly our perspectives can change.

What changed? Last fall, I discovered through some online friends of mine, the C25K Training Program. I started it a bit reluctantly, not sure if I would like it--but I was wrong. I loved it! I loved running!

When I decided to start the program, I didn't belong to a gym, so I ran in a cute little park down the street from our house. It isn't a big park, one loop is about or a little over 1 mile, but there are some nice hills and stuff to keep it interesting--and always lots of good people watching:)

I got pregnant in November (though I didn't know this until mid-December), and basically stopped exercising for awhile because I was too tired to open my eyes more or less go out and run. Now, it was the middle of winter, so I joined a gym once I started getting my 2nd Trimester "Second wind". I used the treadmill at the gym and started a Strength Training program with a personal trainer as well. It has been great. I feel good, have been able to keep my pregnancy weight gain at a healthy level, and have been getting stronger and if possible, I think leaner as well.

At first, the treadmill was quite a challenge. I had heard that a "0" incline is basically like running downhill, so I always try to set it around 1.5-2.0 incline. The biggest challenge was facing the boredom of not going anywhere! I had good tunes on my iPod, but seriously, I am running in place smack in front of a mirror. Do I just run and watch myself for the next half hour or so? Do I watch other people? That would be kind of creepy if they caught me. I got in the habit of staring blankly at whatever necklace I was wearing (I wear "small, minimalistic" jewelry and don't usually take it off very often, even for sleep, so yes, I would be at the gym with some jewelry on), until my eyes kind of got out of focus. Similar to looking at one of those "Magic Eye" posters at the Dentist Office where if you stare at it long enough, you actually see the picture. 

("Wow. It's a schooner." 
  "Ha ha ha ha. You dumb bastard. It's not a schooner... it's a Sailboat."
  "A schooner IS a sailboat stupid head!)

Eventually, I got over the boredom and awkwardness of running on a treadmill and was able to run for quite awhile once I hit my stride. As my pregnancy has progressed, I haven't really been able to push it much past a half hour or so. While running, I feel like I could go on forever, it is when I stop that I get light headed and dizzy and need a good 10-15 minutes to recover... so I have given myself a strict 35 min treadmill limit because that seems to be the magic number.

Now that the weather is finally and consistently fairly gorgeous, I have been longing for the days of running in the park. The sunshine, the fresh air, the variety of scenery and of course, the people watching. So, after months of hibernation on a treadmill, I ventured outside last night for a run in the park for the first time since November. I have taken several good power walks in the park with Silas in the stroller, but I hadn't gone out for a run yet.

Well--let me just tell you--having now experienced both kinds of running for a significant period of time and NOT simultaneously, anyone who says there isn't much of a difference between the two is a big fat liar!

I was struggling! At some points, I was going along fine, and others it was like I had come up with a special torture just for myself.

I am sure that being 32 weeks pregnant, and not having really run much in the last two weeks (on a treadmill or otherwise) were also factors in the fact that I couldn't even run two laps without having to stop twice to walk. Technically, I stopped 3 times, but one time I stopped because I had to go to the bathroom:) But, I think the main part was that my body was NOT used to all those ups and downs anymore. I had been conditioned to run at the same level, same pace and after months of it, my body was all... what are you trying to do?! What happened to those ideal running conditions with no variation. Seriously, you want me to run up a hill right now?!

I had naively thought that running at a 1.5-2.0 incline (ok, mostly a 1.5) would keep me conditioned to the running "field" I was used to for the first 2-3 months of being a runner. Yeah--it isn't true. I think a 3.0 or 3.5 incline would have been more appropriate.

Obviously, there are benefits to both types of running, and I don't think it is fair for any person to say one is better than the other. One is better than the other only for each individual person. Naturally, just running itself is a huge benefit to you cardiovascularly, muscularly, mentally even. But, I personally, love running outdoors. The scenery changes before you, even if you are running in circles in a small park, and there are lots of people to watch in a park, which is always a good time. Fresh air never hurt anyone and neither does a little sunlight. Plus, I think the fact that outdoors isn't all one level the whole time gives the added benefits of making the course interesting, and keeps your HR going up and down, which is ideal for max cal burn. But, for cold, windy, rainy, snowy, icy, ultra humid days or whatever--the treadmill is great because it allows you to still get in a good run... without all the uncomfortableness of crappy weather.

Of course, another factor in why my run last night was kind of stinky, my left ankle is hurting. It isn't visibly swollen or bruised or anything, so I don't think it is a major injury of any sort; but it has been hurting on and off since last Monday when I hit the gym for the first time in a week. I think I might have strained it on the treadmill at some point and then running outside last night just sort of made it worse. I have it all wrapped up in an Ace bandage now, I figure better safe than sorry. 

Anyway, people are always debating which is better, the treadmill or the outdoors. I think it is "6 to one, half dozen to the other" (a favorite saying of my dad). This has been my experience with both, and if I had to choose one over the other as the only option for me... the Great Outdoors would win every time. But then again, I am just a little dirty crunchy hippie girl who longs for the great outdoors living in the concrete jungle. 


Its not rocket science

As anyone who reads my blog knows, I have fallen in love. In the form of Gro Baby diapers. They are easy to use, don't leak (unless you leave them on too long), are easy to clean, and look adorable. Silas has barely had even a hint of a diaper rash since I have started using these exclusively, which I also like. 

And yet, every day when I get home from work, there are several covers in my wet bag and several pairs of pants, that were clean that morning, in the hamper. The other night, Silas said, "uh oh, water spilled". We looked down and there was a small puddle of liquid by his feet, but he wasn't holding any water. Urine had literally fallen out of his diaper. It was seriously some kind of miracle, because his diaper was on properly (for all intents and purposes) and the shell was NOT wet! Seriously, it wasn't even damp. How the heck did it escape?!

I did notice, when I changed this miracle diaper, that the right edge was folded back so I could see the inner mesh part. Is that it? Is that why the nanny can't seem to NOT have a leak which each diaper change. Our nanny is not an idiot--who hires an idiot to watch their child anyway. She is a sweet, intelligent, fun young woman who Silas adores and who is great with Silas. She didn't have this many problems with gDiapers, and yet, the easier better diaper, she can't get the hang of. 

The biggest problem with this is not the constant laundry that piles up because I am washing his covers after one use and all the clothes he pees on. It is not that the covers won't last as long because they are being washed after each use. It is my husband and his sighing, growling, annoyance. He rarely even changes Silas' diapers; I do most of the laundry, I am always the one to wash the diapers. But anything that doesn't work perfectly from the start and constantly, he doesn't like anymore. For example, four years ago, I bought a paper towel holder. The kind you screw into your cabinets so it hangs down above your sink and doesn't take up precious counter space. When it gets to the end of a paper towel roll, it won't roll like it is supposed to. Is it kind of annoying that you need to manually move the roll so you can get a single sheet or more off? Yes. Is it the end of the world and a huge hassle? No. Yet, the other day, as he is manually moving the roll, he throws up his hands, gives an audible sigh and growl and angrily declares, "I hate that thing!" I look at him like he is an alien. Seriously? With all the other more serious crap going on in our life to get upset over, you get angry at the paper towel holder. Perhaps it is his way of allowing his feelings about other more serious things he is upset over be shown... ???

See, me, I don't care about those little things, and therefore, do not spend most of my day annoyed or angry because some silly little contraption isn't working right. I get upset and angry at the big things, like say, the Contractor coming back and saying, yet again, we need to buy more tile (this is especially annoying since they gave us the measurements and square footage requirements to begin with). I get upset and angry over that, and he tells me to calm down, its not a big deal. Really? The fact we need to drop yet another $100 is not a big deal, but the paper towel holder is something to get upset over? 

Thank God he doesn't even know I write this blog!!! I didn't keep it from him on purpose, I just didn't mention it--now I am thinking that was a good thing!

Anyway, so since neither he nor my nanny can seem to use a perfectly simple diaper, he is getting annoyed with them and every time he needs to change a diaper, he gets huffy. I personally, am done purchasing and stocking multiple types of diapers in the house. If he wants to use disposables, he can just go out and buy them himself, that is if he knows what size to get. 

Seriously though, it isn't rock science. I am not that much more intelligent than they are, so why can I manage to change his diapers all weekend without a single leak (except perhaps overnight), when they can't manage to avoid a leak with even a single diaper change? I have explained several times, you cannot leave these diapers on for four hours at a time (even though I have successfully done so, usually because we are out running errands and lose track of time). This morning, I gave the nanny a little tutorial explaining she should lay the front flat, and make sure it doesn't fold over, that the diaper will naturally fall into a comfortable place on him once he moves. She only has four shells to work with today because I can't get into my laundry room due to a huge sleeper sofa blocking the way... 

Has anyone else had these problems when trying to teach others how to use a cloth diaper system? Is it me? Or is it them? If its me, I will apologize to them... I swear I will... but I really don't think it is. Anyone have some advice on how to teach them how to properly use the diaper? I have shelled out a decent amount of money into this diaper system, and really like it. I want to use it on the new LO when he or she arrives, including more cloth diapers, I am not changing systems now!!


Calm Birth: A Book Review

As many of you know by now, if there is anyone out there who reads my blogs, I have been embarking on a mission to ready myself mentally and physically for natural childbirth. By "natural", I mean a no drugs, no medical intervention (unless necessary), vaginal birth. Eek!

Yeah yeah, plenty of women do it. That doesn't mean it is easy and anyone can do it!

I have been feeling very good lately about my decision to birth naturally though because of all the preparation I have been doing in the last several months. My workouts have been pushed to the side a bit lately, and I am not happy about that. But sometimes, life gets in the way! We are having our basement redone and by the time I get home, check out the days work, go over things with the worker, possibly go out and pick up things that need to be bought (paint, sink, vanity, medicine cabinet, etc.), there is no time for exercise. I went to the gym on Monday and hit the treadmill for the first time in over a week. It felt great... now my calves are killing me and I am walking around with permanent Charley horses. Sigh. The basement will be done by the end of the week and then life can resume its normal abnormalness

Luckily, nothing really gets in the way of reading since, I do that on my commute to and from work. So, even though I haven't been able to prepare much physically lately, I have still been able to continue my mental preparations. 

The most recent book I read is Calm Birth: New Method for Conscious Childbirth by Robert Newman.  

This book is hands down, one of the best I have read concerning a method for natural childbirth. As you know, I read and loved Your Best Birth, but that book was more about information than a method. 

I don't really think there is any best method out there, or one that is complete in and of itself and perfect for me. That is why I have read so many books. Calm Birth also is not perfect, but I have to say, it sounds pretty darn close to it.

I was a little leery of reading it to be honest. I have never been one to meditate. I love yoga, but for the exercise, not the spiritual aspects. In fact, if a yoga class or video gets into the chanting spiritual stuff, I stop going. From the title and description, I thought perhaps this book would be like a chanting, chakra based, touchy feely method of natural childbirth. And that is in there, but there is also technical and medical information about the benefits of meditation. Information on studies conducted by highly respected medical schools and institutes about meditation as a means of healing. In fact, there were pages and paragraphs that were so technical, I had to read them 2 or 3 times just to think I understood what they were talking about. 

But, it all made sense. Each bit of it. While the author did admit that he had heard of women who had given birth consciously, without drugs and painlessly, he did not say or even imply that his methods would provide a painless childbirth. What he did say, was that they would provide one with the tools to maintain the strength they needed to get past their fear of the pain, in order to embrace any pain as a tool to bringing your child into the world. And looked at that way, the pain doesn't seem so impossible to bear.  I like that they didn't make any promises, but really gave it to you straight.

The author included interviews with people who had successfully employed the Calm Birth techniques in childbirth. These interviews were great because they were from people who had practiced the methods at varying degrees. Some people started the methods only weeks before giving birth. Others were busy people, and admitted to only practicing a couple of times a week for a few months. Others, were gung ho and practiced several times a day every day. But in each case, they also told the reader how effective the methods were for them, what they were feeling, obstacles they faced, etc. This was more than just the author of a book saying, "try this and it will work."

One downfall is that the methods as they are provided in the book, are transcripts taken from a CD (Calm Birth:Empowering Preparation for Childbirth) which has to be purchased separately. You can read the transcripts and get an idea of how to practice the different meditation methods, but it is difficult to meditate when you need to glance down at a book to read the next step. Which means, you need to spend another $15-20 for the practice CD--if you really want to actually practice the methods. 

I will say this though, I have also read HypnoBirthing and Birthing from Within (reviews will be given later on these), and both also have CD's or classes which can be taken (the classes are incredibly expensive); but I bought the Calm Birth CD. It hasn't come in yet, I am eagerly awaiting it. I am excited to really try and learn these methods of meditation--which the author says can be used for things in life other than just pregnancy and childbirth. I have been very stressed out lately and by all resources, mediation is supposed to help with stress. So, it will be interesting for me to attempt to employ these methods in life and pregnancy... and hopefully childbirth as well. 

In the meantime, if you have been thinking about buying and reading Calm Birth, but have been leery because you are afraid it is too "mushy, touchy feely


How to Say 'No'

I don't get many comments on my blogs... but a did get a couple on my blog about taking back control of my life. 

Aside from saying, no, I also signed up for Upliv. It is a medication free program from Johnson & Johnson to help reduce stress in women. You have to subscribe and it is a monthly fee, but you can cancel at any time. I kind of figured even if money is one of the things causing a ton of stress in my life, $40/month wasn't so bad if it really worked and would help reduce my stress level. 

Anyway, I just signed up, so I checked out my first session today and the article was so closely related to my blog last week about saying no, I had to post it here for other to read. 

So, even though I managed to say No to several things last week... it wasn't easy and I actually needed other people's help in doing so and still felt guilty over doing it. I was happy to read this article which really outlined the difference between saying no for your own mental health, even if it inconveniences the requester, and being a jerk about it:)

So, if you feel like you need to start saying "No" more often, but are unsure about the first steps to take, here is a nice little article that kind of lets you know it is OK to do so... and some effective ways of saying "No" without ruining a friendship or business relationship. 

Assertiveness and Interpersonal Boundaries in Stress Reduction

GroBaby Love

I am in love. My previous issues have been resolved. I could not imagine a better diaper. 

For the last couple of weeks, I have been really breaking in the GroBaby diapers I blogged about before. My nanny has been using them and it has definitely been trial and error. We have had leaks, but normally they were caused by leaving the diaper on too long, not because of how the diaper was put on. 

GroBaby (now technically GroVia) diapers are so easy to use, I don't know why anyone would use regular old disposable diapers! They go on like a regular disposable, have leg gussets in the biosoaker to keep any mess contained, are comfortable for baby and unlike regular disposables, much more breathable. They are not nearly as bulky as other cloth or hybrid diapers (unless using a soaker pad and booster or a biosoaker and soaker/booster). Plus, they are too cute!!

I have also finally found a GroBaby solution to nighttime diapers. I tried just using a biosoaker. I tried just using a soaker pad. I tried a soaker pad plus a booster. I tried a biosoaker plus a cloth booster. Each one resulted in varying degrees of leaks from just a smidge, to OMG did I even put a diaper on him last night?!

The solution that has been working so far is a biosoaker with a regular soaker pad on top. I snap in the back of the soaker pad, and leave the front unsnapped. Two nights in a row, varying amounts of  "soak" in the am, and neither morning were there leaks. Yay!!!

My only complaint about the biosoaker is that it isn't the easiest thing to tear open to  flush and it really takes quite a bit of shaking to get the inner pulp out and into the toilet. gDiapers does have it on you there GroBaby--their flushies are super easy to tear open and empty, plus the outer portion is also flushable whereas with GroBaby, it needs to be trashed, so it kind of defeats the purpose of a flushie since part of it goes in the trash anyway. However, even if you trash part or the whole thing, they are still better than regular disposables in terms of biodegradability (did I just invent that word?)

Cloth diapering has been a completely new thing for me. I have not been using the soaker pads very much because, frankly, I don't change most of Silas' diapers and I am not going to make my husband or nanny be the experimenter. If I decide to go all cloth, they will learn then. But, I figured I owed it to them to be the first one to try out the whole cloth diapering thing. 

So far, I have not minded cloth diapering. Like I said, I haven't used them that often, but plan on doing it more so from now on. Several days ago I changed my first poopy cloth diaper. Luckily, I had the foresight of putting a flushable liner on top of the soaker pad. So, most of the poopy was easily cleaned up by simply removing the flushable liner and throwing it in the toilet. Some poopy did manage to make it onto the soaker pad and the shell though, so I did have to employ the diaper sprayer; but it was no worse than when poopy would get on the liners of the gDiapers. Then I threw both pieces in my wet bag until laundry day. No worries. Did it take a little more time than a disposable or biosoaker, sure. Was it a huge pain in the butt. Not at all. I am sure my nanny will be fine with experimenting and moving on to cloth diapers; hubby, probably not so much. He tends to not like to try new things, especially new things that aren't necessary or super easy from the get go. I am still just trying to get him away from disposables by showing him how easy biosoakers are... if I can at least get him on the biosoaker train, I can deal with him not being on the cloth train. Of course, if there are biosoakers in the house, I am sure the nanny will use those more than cloth, but at least either way, it is more eco-friendly than a pampers would be!

Of course, now that I am in love and am finally almost out of disposables, I cannot find anyone online who has GroBaby biosoakers in stock and GroVia biosoakers won't be available until July sometime. So, I need to find a way to make 40 diapers (all the biosoakers I have left) last until July... 

But, for anyone considering cloth or hybrid diapering... GroBaby/GroVia is definitely the way to go!!! I can't wait for the LO to arrive in August to start actually saving money by attempting to cloth diaper exclusively during maternity leave... well... OK, I'll use biosoakers when running errands or visiting family, but in general... CD only! Eek... I'll definitely have to blog about that when it happens!!!!


Taking Back Control of My Life

This post doesn't really have much to do with natural childbirth, but any Moms out there who may read this, you will probably say, "I know just how you feel." I mean, we do it all don't we moms. Whether you are a SAHM or a working Mom, it doesn't matter. Being a SAHM doesn't mean you have hours and hours at your disposal to do whatever. I am a working mom, but I know plenty of SAHM whose lives are almost as hectic as mine. I will NEVER say a bad word about a SAHM mom... if I do, it is only because I am wicked jealous that I can't stay home:)

As usual... I digress. 

Life has been completely out of my control lately. Aside from the obvious of my body going crazy because I am 30 weeks pregnant, I feel like I have been spinning out of orbit. Kind of like the bad guys in that one Superman movie, when Superman put them in the weird crystal things and spun them off into the universe. I feel like that is me. I have been catapulting through the universe with no control over my destination and unable to grab onto anything to stabilize myself. 

The contractors have been working on my basement for all of 3 days, and already we have had about 3-4 issues/surprises pop up DAILY and have had to tack on an extra 4 Grand to the project total. Yup... that's right!!! Yesterday, I lost it. Totally and completely. I broke into tears and ran out of my basement. Now, something you need to understand about me; I cry when I am sad, I cry when I watch a sad movie, I cry to certain songs, and I especially cry when I am mad or upset or have lost control of a situation. So, I wasn't sad or upset. I was pissed off. I have been, from Day 1, very clear about what I wanted with my contractor. He has decided it would work better another way (i.e. be cheaper for him without having to charge me less) and told his workers to do it his way without waiting for my approval on that. I don't think I am being difficult in wanting a construction project happening in my house to turn out to my satisfaction as opposed to my contractors. After all, I am the one who will be living there. 

But yesterday, after my little breakdown, the guy who was actually doing the work said, "You tell me what you want, and we'll work with it." He listened to what I wanted, then watched as I demonstrated and tried to get him to visualize it, then repeated it back and re-showed me. I said, "Yes. that is it." He said, "OK, no problem. I'll fix it tomorrow. In the future, tell ME what you want, not *Joe*, because I am the one doing the work." Then he hugged me and said, "I have a wife and 2 children, I understand."

After that, I was on a roll. I called my mom and told her I wasn't coming down on Saturday for my Uncle's Surprise 60th B-Day party. The man is like a saint and does so much for us, but we have paint to pick out, a sink to find, shower doors and a million other tiny things that need to be bought for this project. The workers will be here all day Saturday and we have a 1st bday party for our friends' son on Sunday which we committed ourselves to before we knew about my uncle's party. She said, "OK. I understand and I know your uncle will too." 

Then I talked to my sister, told her we wouldn't be coming down for her son & daughters combined bday party so we wouldn't be tacking Silas' bday party onto it as well. We just wouldn't do a family (and understand when I say "family" I means aunts, uncles and cousins... of which I have over 20) celebration since, God forbid the family drove up to NYC for a party. We had too much going on and I couldn't deal with the Sunday evening traffic getting back to NYC from SJ. She said, "Hey, no worries. You guys have a lot going on now. I wish we could make it to Silas' party, but we already had the plans with Jon's family."

Turns out, saying "NO" to people, is a hell of a lot easier and liberating than I thought it would be. 

I was feeling so good, this morning I even told my husband his parents, sister and niece would have to stay in the hotel 2 nights when they come down for Silas' bday party instead of just the night before the party. My folks will stay over our place the night of the party, and then they'd leave in the am and his family could then come and stay with us. Now if only I could make sure they got a train home on Tuesday instead of Wednesday... Can't win 'em all I guess. 

Anyway, if you are a mom, or a mom-to-be and are feeling the stress of family, work, life... start saying "No" to people and things. You can't do it all, and you shouldn't have to. You are important too.  And don't think that saying no so you can stay home and relax or get in some exercise isn't a valid reason. Your mental and physical health are important not only for yourself, but your family too.


Physical Training Slacking

These last few weeks have been super hectic. We are currently undergoing some construction in our house--we are getting our basement and the bathroom down there refinished and it has just been crazy. The work only started today, but I have had headaches about this for weeks. Dealing with moving everything out of the basement, figuring out what of all that crap we needed to keep and what we could trash/donate/sell--or what would be assessed once the project was complete and we were putting everything away. And of course, I was the one who had to make all those decisions--but then validate and explain those decision to my other half who sometimes saw the reasoning, and sometimes just rolled his eyes at me.

I am just glad the work has finally started, even if I have been on and off the phone all day with my husband (who is at home right now overseeing the work) and the contractor (who is not at our site, just his workers) working out the final kinks in the project. I have a killer headache and all I want to do when I get home is change and go for a run in the park to de-stress, but instead have to look at what was behind the ugly wall paneling, discuss our options with the contractor who will be at my house about half an hour after I get home from work, then make the decision with my husband who has not gotten any sleep and needs to leave for work by 10:30 this evening. I am thinking my need for a run is going to hit the back burner. 

It is annoying though because, exercise if the only thing I do for myself. The only "me" time I get in my life, and lately, I have really only been getting it about once a week when I have my training appointments with Alex, the trainer Goddess. 

It makes me feel like I am working half-ass backwards because running for 30 minutes and doing 30 minutes of strength training once a week, is NOT going to make a big difference. Yes, it is better than nothing, but it also could honestly be doing me more harm than good. 

A. It is a stress relief tease. Yes, I get relieved of my stress, and if I am lucky that lasts for about 30 minutes after I get home from the gym. On the less than lucky days, stress comes ramming right back the minute I walk through the back door. 

B. If I only run one day a week, each time I get back on the treadmill, it is honestly more difficult. Making my body work extra hard just to get used to it again, and then by the time I am used to it, I need to stop and go to my training session. 

I know I probably shouldn't complain. My life is hardly as bad as so many people's lives out there. But, you know what? Screw that. I don't have someone else' life. I have my life. I can't change that so I won't apologize because it is better than one person's but worse than another. It is the only real life I know, and right now--it sucks!

I only have about 8 weeks of pregnancy left and I really don't want to drop the ball on being physically ready for this now! Mentally, I am becoming more and more prepared. I started a new birthing book called, Calm Birth, regarding the benefits of meditation in pregnancy and childbirth. So far, I am a fan. I haven't finished it yet or gotten to any of the exercises to practice to prepare for childbirth, but I have a feeling they will be helpful. I'll write a review when I finish and let you know my overall assessment. 

So mentally, I am doing well with my training. Physically though--lately--I have been seriously dropping the ball and NEED that to change. With any luck, the basement project will be as quick as promised when they gave us the estimate and within 2 1/2 weeks not only will I have a new basement and bathroom, but also new doors (front and back) and a new kitchen window!!! (Our tax refunds hard at work...)