A Natural Birth Story

What a long strange trip its been. That is for sure. When I started this journey back in December, I had no idea what to expect, what it would be like. But I was determined to give it my best, to stay in shape and be fit for me and baby. 


My due date came and went and no baby. I went to the gym, took walks everyday, kept myself as active as possible trying to encourage baby to enter the world. 


Finally, at my 41 week appointment, my doctor and I decided it was finally time to induce and get the show on the road. I had so wanted to avoid an induction. I didn't want the pitocin, the contractions or the higher risk of a c-section that comes with it. 
I finally got to work in the afternoon... to everyone's shock and dismay...and told everyone I'd be out as of the next day. 


When I got home from work, Jake, my mother and I discussed our plan for the next day. My friend Jen was going to come over to watch Silas because our nanny had a doctor appointment.  We sat down and had dinner and then got all our stuff ready for the hospital. 


As I was wiping down the counters, I thought I felt a contraction. Hmmm... well, I had been feeling contractions and ligament pain for weeks and wasn't about to get excited now. 
My mom came into the kitchen and asked if I was OK... I looked at her and said, "I don't think we have to wait until tomorrow...". There was just something about this time that felt different, felt real.


By 11:00 I was sure. I was in labor. I finished washing my face, told Jake I was in labor, called my friend Jen to see if she would be able to come over in the middle of the night instead of the morning and got into bed to watch the North Shore (which was randomly on HBO and I was totally psyched to be distracted by a classic 80's surfing movie) for the long ride. 


Jake came to bed at 11:30 and I asked him to start timing my contractions. I felt like they were fairly close together, but if you have ever been in labor, even when they are 15 minutes apart, it feels like they are 5 minutes apart. 


But... they really were 5 minutes apart. At 12:30, I called my doctor. She told me I should head to the hospital right away since labor started at such an intense level.  
I called Jen, woke my mom, got up and got dressed. 


My husband, love him, ran a few red lights to try to make our trip a little faster. We didn't go flying through them or anything though, don't worry, we weren't a menace on the road:) The trip through the city was fun, as always. Maybe they leave potholes there just to make trips like mine more fun and interesting. I was in the back seat with my mom, holding onto the seat in front of me for dear life and to help my concentration in order to breathe through contractions. 


I was actually doing very well with that. I wasn't exactly what you would call calm... I kept saying again and again that I didn't think I could do it. But, when a contraction started, I was doing a fairly decent job on concentrating on breathing through the pain and moaning my exhale. 


1:15 am, we arrive at the hospital and head straight up to the triage. Well, my mom and I do, Jake has to go park the car. 


Now, you know what I don't understand, why, when you are in pain, about to have a baby, do they feel the need to ask you the same 80 questions again and again. I know they need to do their job and they need to ask certain questions, but is it necessary to ask the same questions again and again and again. I mean seriously people, I already told you 3 times that there is no history of cancer in my family... and what exactly does this have to do with birthing a child?


Finally we get to the room. It is now probably about 2:00 am.


I was trying to find a comfortable position and just couldn't. I wanted to do this the all natural way, so there wasn't really much comfort to be found because you know, contractions, but still. 


I tried sitting on the edge of the bed, with my head resting against Jake's chest while holding his hands through contractions. That wasn't too bad. But, my mother kept saying, "why don't you lay down, why don't you lean back. Don't yell, don't make those noises, you need to breathe." I know she thought she was helping, but it was difficult to not yell at her to shut the hell up. I feel like I spent a lot of time yelling at her, and then apologizing for it because  I was breathing. That was how I was breathing through the pain. On the exhale, I was moaning out the contractions, kind of like in tennis. It was easy to lose my concentration and just start wimpering through the worst contractions. But Jake was really great. He'd gently rub my back with the hand I wasn't breaking and remind me to breathe out, when I breathed out, I was less tense. and if I was less tense, riding the contraction wave was much easier and a tad less painful. But of course, all of that is easier said than done when you are in the middle of the most difficult thing you have ever done in your life. 


I lay back finally... that didn't help. It made contractions worse and since my butt was sitting right on the metal bar where they can cut the bed in half if you use stir-ups, my butt was going numb. 


Come on hospital. Is there no way at all to make these beds a teensy bit more comfortable for us? Is it necessary to make things MORE painful during childbirth?


Finally, after much moving around and complaining, I found that if I sat up, towards the back of the bed, and leaned forward a bit during contractions, that was "best". I held onto my husband's hand and squeezed with each contraction as I tried to concentrate on breathing through the pain. I had to hold myself up on the other side with one hand. It tended to make my hand numb, but the relief between contractions was sometimes enough to shake out the tingly feeling. Unfortunately, it was never enough to stop the tingling sensation in my face that I had been feeling since about 12:30. I felt a bit like I was tripping or had just done a balloon at a Phish show...I wasn't quite sure what to make of the sensation. I kept telling people, my face is tingling, my face is tingling and they just said it was OK. I don't know if maybe I was tripping on the pain or if the baby was on a nerve or something, but it was a crazy sensation and didn't go away until the baby was born. 
It felt like hours that I was there, breathing through the contractions, but my doctor pretty much did not leave my side the whole time... which meant it wasn't hours since she was the on call doctor for her practice that day and there had to be other people there in labor. It was a very busy night on L&D. She knew I was going to go soon, and her calm presence and ability to bring me back to my focus was a huge help. 


Finally, I looked up, and told my doctor I couldn't do it anymore. I needed that baby out NOW!


But, I wasn't really ready to push, and at last check, was 9cm. I had been 5cm when I was admitted, and was dilating at a rate of 2cm every 20 min. Pretty damn fast and probably why the contractions were so intense.


The wonderful and fabulous Dr. Wong said, "OK, let me check you again. You were 9cm, if I break your water for you, you'll probably dilate that last centimeter and be able to push." 
She checked and said, "you're at 10. Do you want me to break your water?"


I could only nod. Hmm... that was a pleasant experience. There really are no words for what it feels like to have your center pulling in on you and then having someone basically shove a knitting needle into you and twist it around a bit... along with a couple of fingers. Awesome! Again please?


I felt a small trickle of water, and screamed. Having my water broken literally released the baby! It was like "whammy!" baby was all of a sudden pushing up against me ready to be born NOW! Which was good because I was really at the end of my pain tolerance rope. I was quickly losing any and all compsure--not that I had a lot going on at that point anyway.
I totally forgot how to push. I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't pull myself forward, I couldn't hold my legs up. Luckily, my husband and mom were there to help me out. They held my legs while I held myself up. 


One, two...and a half. With several screams and declarations of not being able to do it in between... I felt the head come out. The burning sensation I had felt was finally gone. Even though the baby technically wasn't born yet, just have the head out was such a relief, I literally fell backwards and sighed. Careful now because the shoulders were next. Small push...and baby came into the world. 


Congratulations, its a SCREECH from my mother. Which could only mean...
Its a GIRL!


3:25am, after 5 hours of labor and a mere 3 pushes. After experiencing the strangest sensations and pains and focus and love and fear and surety and doubt and confidence...my baby girl came into the world. Just as I had hoped. Drug and Intervention free. 


6lbs. 13 oz. and 20 in.


We discussed names. I asked him what he thought. What did he want to name her. He asked me what I wanted and I said simply, "You know what name I want, but you don't like it. Which name do you want?"


He looked at me with so much love and said, "Its really what you want? Then lets do it."


World, say hello to Stella Francesca. Francesca is in honor of my mother, who is not only an amazing mother who does so much for us, but is the best Nonna in the world. I had an amazing Nonna myself, so that is saying a lot.

It's been a little over a week now and I am still in amazement. Not only of my beautiful daughter, but of what I experienced. I just re-read what I wrote above about the experience, and it doesn't even come close to really describing it. Was I in pain? Hell yeah. Was it torture? Hell yeah. But, at the same time is was amazing. No pain. Surreal. Despite what I was screaming and saying at the time, if we ever decide to have a third child, I will definitely go all natural again. Next time, hopefully I'll be able to make it into the birthing center... Stella arrived one day too late for that, but it was ok. Labor was so quick, I wouldn't have had a chance to really appreciate all the perks of a birthing center room anyway!